Two-way Relationship

It is important to realize though that mentoring is a relationship between two people who trust and respect each other. Mentoring is not simply a teacher-student relationship; rather, it is a partnership that will help both the mentor and the mentee grow both personally and professionally.

The mentor can aid the mentee so that he can find the right direction he should take in his career. The mentors will usually rely on their own experiences in the past and their knowledge about the industry. Because of this, mentoring can be a great way for a mentee to understand his career options and progress professionally in the future.

Most of the time, having a mentor will boost the confidence and the self-assurance of a mentee because he has all the support, encouragement, and guidance he needs. But the mentors should also take note that challenging the mentee to do his best is the best thing they can do so that the mentee will know how to handle difficult situations the right way in the future.

As was mentioned earlier, a mentoring program is a two-way relationship; so likewise, the mentor can also expect that he will learn a lot from teaching and guiding another person. This will develop his management and leadership skills so he will develop empathy for people who is experiencing the same struggles he did in the past.

Benefits of a Mentoring Program

A mentor will help a mentee believe in his or her capabilities as a person. Because of this, the self-confidence of the mentee will be improved and they will be more apt to accept more challenges in the future. The mentor would also enable the mentee to explore new ideas so that you can achieve a higher level of self-assurance in yourself and explore even greater highs of success. The mentoring program will be an opportunity for you to take a deeper look at yourself, your goals, your personality, and your life. This will enable you to know which the right path you should take in life is.

Features You Should Look For

Of course, it is inevitable that some mentoring programs would be better than others because of the features and objectives provided by the specific program. For example, it would be better for you to get a mentor from outside the company so that you will get an unbiased view of what you should do regardless of who your boss is. The mentoring program would not be entirely effective if your mentor knows your boss as well.

Likewise, the things that are discussed during the mentorship program should always remain confidential between the mentor and the mentee. And lastly, the mentorship program should be focused on the person. The mentor should be aware of the everyday challenges that his mentee faces so that these issues can be faced accordingly and enable the mentee to succeed in his career.

Go before your audience expecting to make an impact!  People aren’t interested in what you know.  They want your information for themselves and passion is like the “grease” that lubricates that passage of information!  Do you expect that your audience will receive what you have to say?  Do you communicate that you’re excited to be there and you’re also excited that they are there as well?

Be mindful of the needs of your audience.  As a professional speaker, we can get caught up with our message because you know it’s what your audience needs.  The problem with that train of thought is that it leaves one key person out of the equation – your audience member.  Prepare yourself beforehand to figure out what your audience may want to know or needs to know and then deliver that message.

Change things up for maximum impact!  There are going to be times when you can’t stay stuck to your outline.  Learn to improvise and adjust to the needs of your audience.  Find ways to engage them as you proceed throughout your message.  Do you remember in school that one teacher you had that you could never seem to connect with?  Students were falling asleep in class and the teacher still plodded on with their message!  How effective is that?  Change your presentation and tailor it to engage your audience no matter where they might be!  Don’t stay stuck in a routine!

Relate to your audience.  Relating to your audience goes beyond just speaking to them.  It encompasses everything from the greeting you give, the way you dress and your tone of voice you use to address them.  Part of relating to your audience means knowing who they are and what appeals to them.  You’ll have to research beforehand who your audience members are.  If you do this, you’ll be positioning yourself to be more relatable to them.

Passion is the key that opens their hearts and minds to receive what you have to say!  If you’re passionate about your topic, that will come across in your speech by default.  Conversely, if you lack passion about your topic, that too will also come across.  Do you really believe in what you’re talking about?  Do you see the value that you and your message have to offer your audience?  When you practice your speech, do you motivate yourself?  Just about every professional speaker starts off practicing by looking at themselves in the mirror!  Try doing that and take a good look at what you see!

You are the key to a successful delivery of your message.  If you want to see results, understand that you set the tone in your meeting and it’s up to you to maintain control of that tone!

1. Take the time to prepare well for your presentation.  Preparation enhances your confidence and it’s also an opportunity to refine any weak areas in your presentation.

2. Begin and end your presentation on time.  Arriving late to your presentation is simply unprofessional; not to mention that it won’t win you any points with your crowd.  Also speaking over time shows your audience that you don’t value their time.

3. Know your audience.  The only way you can really relate your audience is if you know who they are.  Profile your audience.  Are they male or female?  What income bracket are they in?  Why would they attend your presentation?

4. Dress appropriately for your audience.  Not all speaking engagements require a business suit!  There are many places where business casual attire has become the norm.  Before your audience even hears your message, they are already sizing you up and this is impacting whether or not they are hearing what you have to say!

5. Have a backup plan for visual aids used in your presentation.  You’ve selected to use visual aids because you thought they would be helpful in getting your message across.  What happens when laptops fail or the room cannot accommodate presentation equipment?  Create a plan on how you would handle a situation like that.

6. Tone down information overload.  Yes, you can overload your audience with too much information and if you’re not careful, you’ll lose them.  They’ll mentally check out.  As a speaker, you’ll want to present enough information that hooks them into getting more information from you!

7. Don’t use inappropriate humor.  Humor can be a tricky thing working for you or against you.  You will really have to know your audience in order to use jokes or humor appropriately.

8. Vary your speech tones.  The monotonous speaker will lose their audience within the first 15 minutes.  It’s okay to be animated during your presentation and in fact, doing so will transmit flair and passion that keeps people engaged in your message.

9. Relate your topic back to your audience.  Basically, stop talking about yourself!  Your audience might want to hear a testimony or two, but mostly, they’ll want to hear about them and how your presentation can help them!

10. Solidify your message.  Support your ideas with data and evidence and build a solid case for your viewpoints.  You can use statistics, testimonies, demonstrations, pictures and more!

Your presentation can be fool proof if you take the time to minimize mistakes.  By going through these key points, you can assure yourself that you are well prepared for any challenge that might come your way and you will experience the success you’ve always dreamed of!

1. Who – Who is your target audience?  What would they like to know about regarding your presentation?  Do they have any preconceived notions about your material?  What are their concerns?  Are you addressing the “who” you targeted in your research?  When you address the “who” of your message, you are better able to relate with your audience.  They will feel like you are speaking directly to them.  They will give you their attention because they feel like their needs are being addressed.

2. What – What is the message you want to communicate?  What are the issues?  What are the solutions?  The “what” in your message is the backbone of your presentation.  It is your purpose of your message and the reason you are speaking.  It is also the reason why people come to hear you.

3. When – When is the recommended time to take action?  Is there a sense of urgency in your presentation?  Stressing the “when” aspect of your message is especially important when you want your audience to take action immediately following the presentation – i.e. – sign up for a class, sell promotional materials, implement what was learned)

4. Where – Where is the problem located?  Where can your audience find the help they need?  “Where” signifies direction.  This leads your audience somewhere in your presentation.  Where would you like to take them?  Common “where” statements include “across America today”, “in college campuses nationwide”, “in the construction industry”, and “in families in California”.

5. Why – Why should they take action?  What are the motivating factors in prompting your audience to take action?  The main focus here is inspiration and motivation to take action.  Not only do you want them to listen to you, but you want your audience to take action on what you’ve said.  You want to somehow improve their lives and honing your message on the “why” is a critical necessity.

There are still many more questions that your presentation should answer.  As you piece all of these bits of information together, you’ll be giving your audience the detailed answers they are looking for.  You also present yourself as the credible source of information you want to present yourself to be!

Situation #1 – Running into someone at the store

How many of you have bumped into a friend while shopping or running an errand?  Here you are–another opportunity to practice your public speaking.

* Initiate the conversation.

* Ask the person how here family is doing.  What’s new with her job?  Does she have any vacation plans coming up?

* Tell a funny story about something that happened recently to you, your family, or your friends.

* Think about how fast you speak, how you pronounce your words, and how you organize your thoughts.  This is called your natural speaking style and will come in handy here.

Situation #2 – Parties

Parties are the perfect opportunity to practice your public speaking skills. So the next party you attend, make sure you bring your bag of tricks.

* If you find yourself standing alone in a corner of the room, don’t just eat all the crab dip:  Initiate a conversation with the next person who walks by.

* Introduce yourself to two new people

* Participate in a group discussion, but do not dominate the conversation

* Have a conversation with someone you may have not seen in a while.

Situation #3 – Leaving a Telephone Message

Doesn’t it seem nowadays that you leave a message or voice mail more often than reaching someone on the phone right off the bat?  Telephone tag is a new corporate sport.  Consider these moments golden opportunities to practice your speaking and organization skills.  The next time you need to call someone, write a few brief notes so you won’t forget anything if you get the person’s voice mail–and I guarantee you, you will get their voice mail.

* Slow down!  Do not speak fast when you are leaving a message, especially if you have an accent.  Most answering machines today allow enough time for a short message.  I can’t tell you the number of messages I get a day where I cannot understand what the caller is saying because he or she is speaking too fast.  I   often find myself replaying the message a few   times.  This is why notes come in handy.  Also, SLOW DOWN when saying your telephone number.

* Pronounce your name clearly.  State your name slowly, especially if your name is not as common as Smith or Jones.  Also spell your name slowly if necessary (f as in Friday, p as in Penny …)

* In addition to your name, give your title, your company name, and the reason you are calling.  Describe to the person, in a few short sentences, the purpose of the call.  If appropriate, leave the time you called (be sensitive to different time zones).

* Let them know when to return the call.  Leave a date, preferred time, and telephone number.

* Always sound professional.  Do not chew gum, and do not leave a long-winded message.  Be aware of your tone. I always tell my clients to smile when leaving a message–it   automatically gives your voice an upbeat, pleasant tone.

Should the person you are calling actually answer the telephone, you can still use your notes.  It will make you sound more professional and organized.

Situation #4 – Creating a Voice Mail

Even though you may not have thought about it this way, your own voice mail message is like a little presentation to the public and leaves a first impression.

* Before you record your greeting, write it down and practice saying it.  Record the message, play it back, and rerecord it if necessary.  Is your message too fast?  Is it too slow? Is your voice clear and easy to understand?  This is great practice for when you prepare your own speech.

* Make sure your answering machine greeting sounds professional and friendly.  Call your own phone number and listen to your own greeting.  Ask yourself if your voice is clear and your message makes sense.  You would be surprised at the number of poor greetings I’ve heard when returning calls.

* Leave the caller clear instructions on what to do when leaving a message.

* If you run a business, as I do, your voice mail greeting is a great opportunity to plug your business.  Be careful of information overload, though.

Following are the steps I recommend for developing speech content.  As an example, here is how I used these steps to help a client develop an educational speech entitled, “Preparing
Student for the 21st Century.”  The objective of the speech was to identify the top ten skills students need to succeed in the twenty-first century.

1.  Gather all the information possible on the subject.
Also, look for little details you think may be useful. Try the internet for resource material by typing key words related to your topic into several search engines. Take notes on your different resources, and group information into specific folders.  For this particular speech I interviewed educators over the phone and gathered their thoughts and their ideas on the skills students need to thrive in the new millennium.

2.  Analyze the information you have grouped or categorized to determine what information you want. How much material you use depends on the length of your speech.
If you are asked to speak for five minutes, the amount of materials you will use is considerably less than if you are asked to speak for thirty minutes.

3.  Organize the information you want to present in coherent sequence.
At this point don’t concern yourself with the length of your presentation.  Rather, make sure that your speech follows a logical order.

4.  Prioritize the most important points in your speech
Try to determine how long it will take you to talk about each point based on the information you have gathered.  My client and I looked at the list we had developed in step three, and this helped us create a time frame and chronological sequence for his presentation.  We then developed slide copy – one slide for each item in the list, with two or three points under each.

5.  Fine-tune the organization of your presentation content with the following approach:
- Tell your audience what your presentation will cover.
- Highlight or “preview” a few main points to capture their interest
- Begin your presentation
- Conclude with summary points that you want your audience to remember.

There is no faster way to break a communication bond between you and the audience than failing to look at your listeners.  No matter the size of your audience, each listener wants to feel that you are talking directly to him or her.

Looking at your listeners as individuals convinces them that you are sincere, are interested in them, and care whether or not they accept your message.  Effective eye contact is also an important feedback device that makes the speaking situation a two-way communication process.  By looking at your audience, you determine how they are reacting to your presentation.

How to Use Your Eyes Effectively
Your eyes convey a message to your audience.  Here are tips to help you use your eyes to better communicate with your audience.

- Know your material.  Know your material backward and forward, so you don’t have to devote mental energy to scanning your note cards for the next topic (an audience interprets this latter behavior negatively, perceiving that you are unsure about what follows your last point).  Prepare well and rehearse often so you don’t have to depend heavily on notes.

- Establish a visual bond.  Select one person and maintain eye contact with that person long enough to establish a visual bond, about five to ten seconds.  Then shift your gaze to another person.  In a small group, this is relatively easy.  With larger crowds it’s difficult.  Instead select one or two individuals in each section of the room and establish personal bonds with them.  This will leave each listener with the impression you’re talking directly to   him or her.

- Monitor visual feedback.  While you are talking, your listeners are responding with their own nonverbal message such as a smile or nod of the head.  Use your eyes to seek out this valuable feedback.  If individuals aren’t looking at you, they may not be listening, either.  Reasons for this include the following:

- They can’t hear you.
Solution:  If you are not using a microphone, speak louder.
- They are bored.
Solution: Use humor, increase your vocal variety, or add powerful gestures or body movements.
- They are puzzled.
Solution:  Repeat or rephrase what you have just said.
- They are fidgeting nervously.
Solution:  You may be using distracting mannerisms.
Heighten your self-awareness of your voice and body language. On the other hand, if your listener’s faces indicate interest and close attention, don’t change a thing.  You’re doing a great job.

1. Respond naturally to what you think, feel and see. – It’s natural for you to gesture.  If you inhibit your impulse to gesture, you’ll probably become tense.

2. Create the condition for gesturing, not the gesture. – When you speak, you should be totally involved in communicating – not thinking about your hands.  Your gestures should be   naturally motivated by the content of your presentation.

3. Suit the action to the word and the occasion. – Your visual and verbal messages must function as partners in communicating the same thought or feeling.  Every gesture you make should be purposeful and reflective of your words so the audience will note only the effect, not the gesture itself.

4. Don’t overdo the gesturing. – You’ll draw the listener away from your message.  Young audiences are usually attracted to a speaker who uses vigorous gestures, but older, more   conservative groups may feel your physical actions are overwhelming or irritating.

5. Make your gestures convincing. – Your gestures need to be lively and distinct if they are to convey the intended impressions.  Effective gestures are vigorous enough to be convincing yet slow enough and broad enough to be clearly visible without being overpowering.  For example, if you are conveying excitement about a point or topic in your speech, show it in your face such as with a big smile.

If you are excited and don’t show it, your body language sends a negative message.  Your gestures need to match your words and the mood you are conveying.

6. Make your gestures smooth and well timed. – This rule is the most important but also the hardest.  Why?  Gestures have to be somewhat planned in advance so you can incorporate   them during your speech rehearsal.  In addition, practice sessions allow you to get a sense of how early you need to start your gesture so it coincides with the point you are making.  Every gesture has three parts:

* The approach-Your body begins to move in anticipation.
* The stroke-The gesture itself.
* The return-This brings your body back to a balanced posture.

The flow of a gesture – the approach, the stroke, the return – must be smoothly executed so that only the stroke is evident to the audience.  While it’s advisable to practice gesturing, don’t try to memorize your every move.  This makes your gesturing stilted and ineffective.  For example, you’re standing on the left-hand side of the stage (the audience’s left) and you need to use the flip chart to illustrate a point, but the flip chart is on the far right-hand side of the stage (the audience’s right).  You may say to your   audience. “Let’s take a look at it on the flip chart.”

As you start this statement begin walking toward the flip chart (the approach).  Your goal is to start your gesture early enough so you can walk naturally toward the flip chart.  At the word “flip” place your hand on the flip chart.  This combined walking and placement of your hand on the flip chart is the gesture or the stroke.  After a brief moment, place your hand on the flip chart and then take your hand and move it to one of your resting positions.
This is the return or completion of the gesture.

7. Make natural, spontaneous gesturing a habit. -  The first step in becoming adept at gesturing is to determine what, it anything, you are doing now.  For example, pay attention to the gestures you use in everyday conversations and try to use these gestures during your presentation.  If you prefer, you can videotape your practice speech.  The camcorder or   video camera is truthful and unforgiving.  If you want to become a more effective speaker, you need to make the camcorder your best friend.  Recording yourself is a surefire way to   eliminate your distracting mannerisms.  Videotape yourself and identify your bad habits. Then work at eliminating them.

All of my private executive coaching sessions and seminars use a video camera to help the participants “see” what they are doing and what changes they need to make.

To improve gestures, practice – but never during a speech.
Practice gesturing when speaking informally to friends, family members, and co-workers.

2. Allocate Times for Each Speaker – assign a target time for each section.
Consider audience involvement and allow enough time for Q&A.  Time each segment during dry runs.

3. Develop Outlines – clearly identify key points for each section.  Then develop complete outlines.

4. Focus on Organizational Clarity – because of the likely mixed nature of the audience and multiple presentation topics, strive for clarity, simplicity & consistency.  Tie each segment to an overall theme by using a moving agenda.

5. Design in Variety – Consider the audience perspective.  They’ll be sitting through five or six presenters over the next several hours; therefore, weave in some change of pace.

6. Develop Story Boards – This is a valuable step in the development sequence.
Storyboards provide oral and visual overviews for each segment and give a quick sense how each presenter will fit in.

7. Get Management Review & Redirection – this is a key time for management to give its input again.  Changes beyond this point become more costly and difficult as artwork and time is shortened.

2. Identify Audience Requirements – obtain specific directions for your audience as to their specific needs for the presentation.  Ask them before you begin preparing.

3. Develop a Team Theme – A crucial and often far too commonly absent part of planning is defining the team focus or message.  This must come from the top and must be understood by all participants.  Failure to establish this will result in individuals heading in several directions.

Contained within the overall theme is any information regarded as the presentation “party line”. Every piece of the presentation should tie into and add to the credibility of the overall theme.

4. Set Team Members and Topics – This is a first-cut organization, which will be refined as the presentation develops.  Certain people are often requested by the customer.  Are those people available?  Each member’s strengths and weaknesses must be understood.

5. Commit Resources – recognize this is not going to get done without the support staff and the proper budget of time and money.  Besides speakers, what other people will be needed to get the job done?

- Graphics experts
- Reviewers
- Equipment experts
- Printers
- Arrange for the necessary visual aids

6. Layout a realistic Schedule – This is vital to prevent last minute crash efforts too commonly seen.  Make sure the common milestones are met.

7. Pick a Presentation Development Coordinator – somebody with the right coordinating skills to provide proper direction is critical.